Good morning! Well this post has been in the works for years now – haha! We have been blogging for almost nine years and have been getting asked many of the same questions for about as long as I can remember, so thought we would compile them all into two posts. This first one will cover blogging and some general questions and then we will have another one soon that will deal specifically with social media.
First, we want to start with a quick disclaimer and then we will get right to it! We want to make sure we emphasize that we do not, by any means, consider ourselves experts or necessarily qualified to give advice. Blogging is just something we accidentally stumbled into and we’ve never been to any blogging conferences and often do things kind of the opposite of what is recommended. So please know, this is just us answering the questions we most often get asked, as well as sharing things that we have learned along the way!
Okay, let’s get started:
With all the different forms of social media is it even worth having a blog anymore or starting one?
Technically I would say that blogs are indeed kind of a dying breed and the traffic most blogs get now is not like it was a few years ago (although some are doing better than ever!) so therefore it probably would seem pointless to try to start a blog now. Regardless of those things, we would still highly recommend starting/maintaining a blog! I know that may seem like a completely contradictory statement and it may seem to not make a whole lot of sense but there are two main reasons for this. First, I think it’s key to think of it more of a website vs. just a blog. However for the purpose of this post we will refer to it as a blog. Having a blog gives you a place to store all of your work. For instance we may post just a couple of pictures on Instagram and Facebook with some basic info on something we’ve been working on, but having a blog allows us to put ALL of the photos and information on a project in one place. This is a huge tool to have. We essentially have a library of nine years worth of projects, designs and tutorials all in one place here on our blog/website. This is not only great for design and decorating blogs but also for cooking and baking blogs and especially for blogs that are more writing or essay based!
The second reason that I think it’s still worth having a blog is because social media is constantly changing and so having one location where all of your photos and information is stored that you have complete control over is such a great safety net to have. With the way Facebook, Instagram and even Pinterest are constantly changing their algorithms it’s nice knowing that you are not completely at their mercy. Now, don’t get me wrong, social media is very important and your growth on those channels at this point will probably be much greater than it will be on your blog, but you don’t know how those channels may change and when they may change so it really is a great idea to have a blog or website to go alongside your social media accounts. Your social media platforms are definitely the key to overall growth and we will talk more about those in an upcoming blog post. This post will focus on blogging and your website.
How do I go about getting started blogging?
Choose a Platform
We won’t go into great detail about this because there are already so many great posts out there if you look for them regarding this by people who have much greater technical knowledge than we do. That being said we have used both Blogger and WordPress I can say that we (along with most bloggers) highly recommend WordPress. Blogger is a bit easier to use when you are first starting but that’s probably the only pro for it, in my opinion. There are so many great articles out there that break down all the of the reasons why but just the ownership and control issues alone make WordPress a MUCH better choice.
Decide What You are Going to Focus On
This one is a bit trickier and something that I think there are so many different opinions on. Some people would suggest picking one overall genre that you are going to focus on and trying to do that really well. For some people that might be decorating, gardening, fashion, cooking, nutrition and health, parenting tips, organization and well, pretty much any topic you can think of. Other people think you should dabble and mix anything and everything that you want! I think you could succeed either way if you are producing great content but I do think that for most people (and obviously there are exceptions to every rule!) starting off by just focusing on one or two areas that you are truly passionate about will help you get off on the right foot because your love for what you are doing will shine through into your content. Over time as you grow you can always start sprinkling in other areas and see what else is a good fit overall for your readers and as your interests grow and change! With that thought process in mind, pick one or two things that you feel like you really and truly enjoy doing. I know that probably seems obvious, but I think sometimes people just “start a blog” because they think it’s an easy way to make money from home and they just chose a topic that they think will do well. The reality of it is, even though blogging is not technically hard work, it is actually a lot more work than most people realize (I will touch that more later in this post) and if you want it to eventually become a source of income and a profession for you then you will want it to be in an area that you truly love. Also, it will be so much easier and more natural for you to create content if it’s something you are passionate about! Now don’t get me wrong, you absolutely can and should mix in posts about other topics as you see fit! We have mixed in some cooking, baking, and organizing posts over the years as well as a handful of entertaining and gardening posts. That’s the beauty of it – it’s your blog that you can share whatever you would like!
Pick a Name
This part can actually be one of the most stressful than you’d think – haha! It’s so hard to find something that is simple yet still catchy and not too limiting and that people can remember and spell easily. Keep in mind that over time your blog and content may rather organically change and grow as you do, so choosing a name that doesn’t tie you down into a specific category is usually best. Taking the time to really think through all the things about your name is key and this is definitely something we learned the hard way. We often get asked this, but if I could go back in time I definitely would have gone with a different name! Lillie was about six months old when we opened our Etsy shop and the blog followed shortly after. This wasn’t something I had planned for long term. It was just something we were doing to bring in a little extra income. Honestly, when my mom, sisters and I first opened that Etsy shop we felt like there was a very good chance we would never even sell one item and never thought it would end up turning into a “real” business. If I had any idea that I would still be doing this nine years later I definitely would NOT have chosen a name that was after my first child knowing that I hoped to have more – haha! I do wish that we had changed it early on but as time went on and our business grew it became harder to make the switch. We’ve never completely ruled it out though….so who knows. So, give a lot of thought to your name before you start!
Is there anything else big to consider before I start?
Yes, I think the next thing to consider is what your overall goal is? Are you looking to start a blog as a hobby or is it something you’d like to turn into more of a business. Are you going for more of a personal feel or a professional feel? These are things you definitely want to consider as you prepare to start posting. There are bloggers on both ends of the spectrum and everything in between so it’s okay if you aren’t sure but it’s helpful to have a general idea. You also can change over time. We started off definitely more on the personal side but as our business and family grew we felt less comfortable sharing personal information and scaled heavily back on the personal side of it and focused more on the business aspect. How much you want to share is completely up to you and everyone has a different opinion on that. I think that is an extremely personal decision so really it has more to do with what you are comfortable with and only you can decide that. That being said I do think it is very important to make sure you ensure your children privacy but we will go into a bit more on that later.
I think people are often surprised at how much work it takes to actually make an income from a blog. It’s not hard work, but it is a LOT of work and far my time consuming than most people realize. I think it’s usually a good idea to start off more as a hobby so you can get a feel for just how much work is involved and then decide if it’s something you want to go “all in” on, or if it’s just more of a fun creative outlet. We will talk about the time aspect of it a little further down in this post.
I’ve got my blog site set up and want to start posting. What should I focus on?
PHOTO QUALITY! If you are doing any type of lifestyle blogging then photos are KEY! I cannot emphasize this enough. That being said you don’t need to spend thousands of dollars on a camera or lots of fancy equipment. Although you can take plenty of great shots with a cell phone now (and there are many great bloggers who use their cell phones), I personally would recommend purchasing and learning to use a DSLR camera. We started off with a Nikon D3000 and then later upgraded to a D700. I don’t think they sell the D3000 anymore (mine was around $299 but that was eight or nine years ago) but I would try to find something that is the equivalent to that so you aren’t investing too much money right off the bat. The D3100 is what I recommended for a while but it also has been discontinued although there are some great prices on Amazon for used ones! Now the D3400 is probably what I would recommend as far as an entry level camera if you want to get something new, although it is a little more expensive. If you are looking to upgrade then I recommend the D700 – I’ve had mine 6 years and LOVED it and just bought another used one on Amazon to replace it. That being said it is an older model so you might want to look into getting a newer one like the D750. I just know I can comfortably recommend the D700 having used it now for so many years.
Don’t be intimidated. You don’t need to learn even a tenth of what your camera can do to take great shots for a blog and social media. You just need to be able to take clear, crisp and well-lit photos and then you can continue to learn the art of it as time goes on if it’s something you enjoy! There are so many great tutorials out there so just doing a little bit of research and learn the basics and you will be good to go. You do not need to be a pro! You just want to be able to take crisp shots in natural lighting. Once you’ve got that down make sure to size and watermark your photos for your blog posts. (We size ours so that they are a bit longer than we need them for instagram and then just crop out the watermark when we post on instagram).
Now that I’m ready to start posting and have started taking photos what’s the best way to officially start posting?
If you are ready to start officially posting the first thing we would recommend would be to plan out your first several posts or pages. This one is something that I think is often overlooked but something that can be really helpful in gaining readers.There are two approaches to this. One if you are focusing on blogging and then sharing on social media and the other if you are focusing on social media and just using a blog as place of reference people can click on for more info.
First, if you are focusing on blogging this is what we would recommend. Before you officially “launch” your blog have several posts ready to go. Take and edit all of your photos. Write out all of the posts and figure out a good order for them. This is helpful because one thing that can happen quite often is that someone excitedly shares that they have started a blog and then people head on over to check it out and there is either nothing up yet or just one post up. They check back a couple more times and then if nothing new is up they move on. (This is even more true on instagram and so I will cover that in a bit more detail when I write that post). I would recommend having at least three posts up before sharing and then have a few more ready to go so you can post every day or every other day for the first week or two. You do NOT need to keep up this pattern, but this will give a good foundation to your blog and will give readers a good feel for what you blog is about and your overall style and focus! Then after that you can post based on what works best for you whether that’s daily, weekly, or whatever!
Second, if you are focused more on growing your social media account this is what we would recommend. If you are focusing more on growing on a platform like instagram then you don’t need to worry as much about having a blog established first. What we would recommend though is having the “shell”of your blog designed so that it is functional and visually appealing and having quite a few instagram posts ready to go (but again we will cover that in a separate post where we discuss things we’ve learned about social media). So if you really aren’t going to focusing on blogging, you don’t really need to worry about specifically having any posts up or ready to go but we would recommend having a few “pages” up that are ready to go with any info you have. For instance if you are going to be sharing a lot of different rooms in your home have a page set up with the paint colors and source info for those rooms and then make sure to update it as you share new rooms on your social media account. You don’t actually need to write any blog posts unless you want to. It can be helpful when it comes to sponsors though to have the option of posting both on your blog as well as social media so even if blogging isn’t something you regularly want to do having a blog allows that as an option. And now with the introduction to the concept of sponsors, that brings us to our next topic.
Now that I’ve started blogging how do I make money?
This one is quite a bit trickier to answer. There are blogs that don’t make any money at all and blogs that provide enough income for a whole staff and then everything in between. Keep in mind that most blogs and social media accounts do not make enough money to replace a full time job! I would say most blogs fall more into the category of a supplementary income so I would definitely NOT recommend quitting your day job to start a blog. That being said, there definitely are bloggers out there who have been able to do that and it can be done! That’s just not the norm so I would most definitely not go into this thinking that will be the case!
First, I would say that if you want to blog as a “job” vs. a hobby then you are going to have to find ways to actually earn money doing it. Just writing a post and sharing it doesn’t make any money. You have to find ways to bring money in and you shouldn’t feel bad about it. Hours and hours of work can go into each blog post and it is absolutely okay to use ads, affiliate links and sponsored posts as ways to have your blog earn money! That’s how blogging works!
For a lot of blogs there are four main categories for bringing in an income. There are some other ways out there too that you can google but I am going to address the ways that we have done because those are areas I know and therefore feel like we have enough basic knowledge to share.
Selling a Product or Service – Many blogger sell some form product or service. Whether it’s an Etsy shop full of handmade items or artwork, offering design services, or Ebooks there are a lot of different types of products and services that bloggers sell. For years we made the majority of our money through our online shop selling chalkboard prints, hand-painted wooden signs, pillow covers and other items like that. The blog and social media were used more as vehicles to send traffic to our shop and the money came almost exclusively from there. Over time we shifted to some other areas where we could bring in some money such as advertisements, sponsored posts and affiliate links. We have also slowly have shifted away from having an online shop and started offering design services.
Advertisements – Initially we avoided having any ads on our website. I am a really visual person and didn’t really like the way they made blogs look so we just didn’t do any at all for quite a while. Slowly as I got more and more used to seeing them we decided to give them a try. I don’t feel like we are in a position to give any great tips or advice though on using ads because they’ve never been a huge moneymaker for us. We use AdThrive and have been happy with them and we definitely do make enough money that it’s worth it to have some ads on our site but it’s never been anything that we’ve put any real effort into and overall it’s always been a very small percentage of our revenue. I feel like most bloggers probably put a lot more effort into that side of it so you are probably better off finding another blog to get advice from in that department.
Affiliate Links – We were a little late to the game on this as well but once we finally did join a few Affiliate Programs we became a big fan of this concept and would definitely recommend it. We now just use RewardStyle because we found it worked much better than the other ones and it’s nice just having a uniform way of using affiliate links. I think there are a couple of key things to keep in mind when using affiliate links. First, do not overuse them! I think this is really key and often is why so many readers are turned off by them. I think affiliate links should be used primarily on items you actually own and use. It’s basically a commission you are earning and I feel like as a blogger it is really important that the information you share is something your readers can trust. For us we share our rooms and then use affiliate links to any items in that space that allow affiliate links. It’s a nice way to make a commission off of items that you personally use and know you love and can feel comfortable sharing. That doesn’t mean you can’t ever share links to items you don’t own but want or gift guides! I definitely think those can be a lot of fun to both read on other websites and share some occasionally here as well. In fact we are putting together some guides and lists due to the amount of questions we get asked on “what coffee table would you recommend” and “what are your favorite light fixtures” and having a nice little grouping can be helpful! I think the key is to not overdo that so that your readers start feeling that you are just one big commercial and don’t stand behind anything you are writing about. I know for me it’s a big turn-off when I see people writing non-stop posts that are just links to every new line at Target but they aren’t actually purchasing or using any of it themselves. That is just my opinion. I am sure there are people out there that don’t mind that at all, but I do think most people are not a fan of that and it can definitely turn some readers away. And again, I do think gift guides can be a GREAT idea! I am not recommending not doing those at all, just making sure you aren’t overdoing it and losing your readers trust or your own integrity. One thing to keep in mind is that RewardStyle requires you to be approved first so it may not be something you can do right away but definitely something to look into once you’ve got some numbers under your belt! Right now affiliate links make up a good percentage of our overall income and we don’t see that changing anytime in the near future.
Sponsors and Collaborations – We saved this for last because it’s definitely the one that is most controversial and if you polled ten different bloggers they’d probably give you ten different opinions -ha! So keep in mind this is just our opinion on this topic! First, do we recommend taking on sponsors? Yes! Do we recommend being REALLY PICKY with your sponsored posts? A VERY EMPHATIC YES! First, let me explain why it is worth taking on sponsors. Blogging takes a lot of work. As I mentioned earlier, it’s not hard work, but it is A LOT of work. Because blogging takes a lot of work and blogging in itself doesn’t make any money you have to find ways to make money off of it and sponsors are one of those ways. Taking on a sponsor usually allows you to take on project without the financial strain and then it gives you content and sometimes you get paid for it! There are two ways this works. For some collaborations you get a product for free in exchange for sharing it on your blog and others you get the product plus you get paid to share it on your blog. If we reach out to the company and the product is something we want or need and would order ourselves and has a good amount of value (like a large piece of furniture) and is a company that we enjoy working with we are happy with just a product trade and if the product is something we can use an affiliate link on then we may end up making money on it anyway. However, we usually do require payment for companies that reach out to us. They are essentially using your blog as a platform to reach people so you should get paid for this. If a company e-mails us and wants to send us a product and it is something that we are interested in and meets our criteria (which is listed below) then we send them back a copy of our media kit which includes our pricing and then we proceed from there. I will give a couple of examples of how this can work: If we are on the hunt for a sofa and a company wants to work with us and we can choose the sofa ourselves and the company kind of gives us free reign with how we share it then we usually feel very comfortable with that trade. On the other hand if a company e-mails us and wants to send us a candle and then wants a full blog post dedicated to it for free well, that is something we most definitely would decline. This is where getting very picky with your sponsors comes in. I would estimate that we turn down 90% of the requests we get for sponsored posts. If you start taking on every sponsored post that you get e-mailed about your blog will literally turn into one big commercial and your readers will stop reading! Some rules of thumb that we follow before we take on a sponsor are below:
Is it something we would purchase? That’s usually the first question we ask. If the answer is no then we pass. If it is something that we would consider buying on our own we then ask ourselves a second question.
Is it a good fit for our blog? This question is even more important. There are plenty of things that we might love and consider purchasing but they aren’t a good overall fit for our blog. I do think it’s okay to branch out once it a while. For instance we had been wanting to try Blue Apron for forever so when they reached out to us it we figured it was worth a try and we absolutely loved it! However, we also turn down a lot of beauty type products that although I might love to try I just don’t feel like it’s a good overall fit for us. Sure, it would be nice to get free stuff like fancy blow dryers on a regular basis, but overall sharing a lot of those types of products would feel pretty weird to me because that’s not what our content usually is focused on. I think it’s really important to not just kind of “sell out” and take on any and all opportunities that come your way or you definitely will start to lose credibility. That being said I also think it can be completely fun to branch out every now and again and do something a little bit out of the box. I saw a blogger I enjoy reading do a Dairy Queen collaboration recently and I just kept thinking how much her kids must have loved that! I know mine sure would have! I think doing a handful of sponsored posts that are a bit “off brand” can be a lot of fun and it’s not going to hurt you as a blogger to mix it up a little bit once in a while. I just think making sure you are discerning in how you go about choosing them and making sure you aren’t overdoing it is key.
What are the requirements and is it a company you trust? We also turn down a lot of sponsored opportunities if they have a lot of requirements that seem forced. For instance maybe a furniture company wants to work with us and they have a dining table I love and would work well in our home but they require four dedicated blog posts and ten instagram posts and each one has to be reviewed so they can approve the wording. Well, that is something we would end up turning down. We don’t want our readers feeling like we are forcing things down their throats and we also don’t like when a company tells us what they want us to say because that can be a bit of a red flag. So right off the bat, if there are a bunch of requirements we know it’s not something we will be comfortable doing. A company that is confident in their product usually is quite comfortable letting a blogger share on their own terms. Now I should emphasize that of course most companies do have requirements! That is to be expected. They are providing you with a product and they want to make sure you actually do your part in sharing it. However, a lot of companies allow you to organically incorporate it into your home and feed so that it doesn’t feel so forced and those are the types of companies that we definitely prefer to work with. If you are doing posts dedicated to their company/product that’s usually when we require payment. Also remember that you can negotiate. Maybe you love the product and company and it’s a good fit for your readers, but they want four dedicated mentions and you are only comfortable with two. Just negotiate with them to see if you can find something that works for you that they are comfortable with as well. If you can get it worked out, great! If not then just walk away. Don’t agree to something you aren’t comfortable with! The other part of that is knowing if the company is reliable and one you trust. Sometimes that’s easy to know. We’ve worked with companies like Wayfair for years because we love not only their products and the ease of use of their website but they have the BEST customer service. We work with them and their sister companies, Joss and Main, and Birch Lane on a regular basis because we completely trust them and have had nothing but great experiences with them. If it’s a new to us company we usually do some research and then if need be even contact other bloggers to find out how their experience was. If it’s a smaller company like an Etsy shop then we often check reviews and feedback and again see if there are any other bloggers who we can ask about how their experience was.
If the product/service is something I would buy, it’s a good fit and the requirements all are good what else do I need to consider? The other main thing to consider is if you are prepared to deal with any issues that may arise if the product or company does not end up turning out to be something you are happy with. Are you going to be comfortable writing that awkward e-mail telling the company? If not then you probably shouldn’t take on sponsors. You do NOT want to share something you aren’t truly happy with or a product you aren’t confident in. By following the initial guidelines you usually help reduce the instances where something is going to go wrong but if you blog long enough you are definitely going to run into a problem like this at some point. We have definitely had this happen a few times. One was quite recently. We had some products sent to us that we chose from a company that we had worked with before and when one of the items arrived it looked nothing like the photos online. Honestly, I was kind of shocked! Now sure, it’s pretty awkward to have to e-mail and say that but I’d much rather that awkward interaction than sharing something with our readers and misleading them in any way. We would never lie about a product or service so for us if we aren’t completely satisfied with it we immediately contact the sponsor. At that point they usually tell you either to donate the item or send you a return label to mail it back and then we just kind of move on. This next part is where people have different opinions on whether or not you should write about these experiences. For us we choose to just move on. We certainly don’t lie and share the product and say it was great – we just don’t share it or acknowledge it at all. For instance in the most recent issue we had we immediately e-mailed the company and they thanked us for our honest feedback and told us to donate the item which we did. Some people feel like bloggers should share more about these experiences especially if they are awful and I certainly understand that train of thought and why it would be helpful, but for me, I am not comfortable trashing another business and the negativity that would follow. So for us, you just never hear about any companies or products where a product or service was something we just weren’t happy or comfortable with. We just kind of live by that age old rule, “If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all”. Now, if the product itself was still something we were fine with but it was just something like the coloring was different than expected than usually we go ahead with sharing it but make sure to mention that. For instance we recently shared our new porch sectional and made sure to mention that it was darker than we were expecting! I think info like that is usually very helpful in mentioning to someone who is considering purchasing something online where they can’t see it in person.
Do I have to let people know if I do something sponsored? Absolutely!!!! You must make sure when dealing with sponsors that you properly disclose this. This is very important and something you absolutely need to do but because it falls under the “legal” category it’s not something I feel comfortable going into great detail on here but absolutely make sure you read up on it before you take on your first sponsored post and make sure you follow all of the guidelines! This is not optional. It is a requirement but I will say some of it is a little bit confusing which is why I don’t feel comfortable delving into it here.
Speaking of negativity, how do you deal with “mean” comments and e-mails?
This is another topic that if you polled ten different bloggers they’d probably have ten different opinions on the best way to deal with this so keep in mind this is just what we have found works best for us! First, there is a difference between constructive criticism and a mean comment. I am going to sidetrack a bit to the comments themselves and then will circle back in addressing how we deal with them. I think it goes without saying that the internet is full of negativity. It’s nearly impossible to find a single post on Facebook that doesn’t have just as many people hating it as loving it, whether it’s a recipe, a dress, a room or a just a voiced opinion. When it comes to decorating you can scroll by a lovely space and find some pretty shocking comments on it. Honestly sometimes they are so ridiculous they kind of hit my funny bone.
Speaking specifically of decorating or design related posts when is constructive criticism welcome or helpful? I think one thing to keep in mind is the timing. If a blogger is sharing their progress shots and seems open to ideas and suggestions then go for it! Just be nice! Maybe the layout they are planning isn’t ideal and you have an idea that might help them, or you love the light fixture they are planning on using but think the wallpaper they are considering is going to completely clash with the draperies or flooring they already have, well, there are definitely plenty of nice ways to add that input. Plenty of bloggers actually love that extra help from their readers during the process. In fact many do polls on their instagram stories when they are torn between a couple of different options. Or maybe they are planning on using a tile that you used and had a horrible experience with or a faucet that you had and it was always leaking or a sofa you own that is really uncomfortable. All of those things can be really helpful during the process and those comments are often not only welcome but much appreciated.
The key here is “during the process”! When someone posts a room or space they just finished, even polite constructive criticism really isn’t that helpful at that point. The blogger is usually relieved to be done with a project so when the first three comments are “That wall color looks awful with your sofa, I would have painted it this color!” and so on and so forth well, then it just feels mean. At that point, usually it’s just best to again stick with “If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all”. I think the exception to that is when the blogger openly states that they don’t love the finished product, or that something just doesn’t feel right, or something along those lines and is asking for people’s thoughts and suggestions.
Now, I know a lot of people think that by sharing your home online you are open to all of the “I hate your style” and “That color is hideous” type of comments. I think as a blogger you know that that is coming so you usually have pretty thick skin, but I still don’t personally think those comments are appropriate or necessary. When someone welcomes you into their home you wouldn’t walk into their kitchen and say “Oh that backsplash looks awful with your counters!” You either comment on something you do like or say nothing at all! Now I understand that a lot of readers feel like bloggers just get lots of “head pats” and everyone telling them how much they love their work and that can get kind a lot of eye rolls. I understand that, but ultimately I think it’s always important to BE KIND so just keep on scrolling by if you don’t care for a space.
Okay now I am going to circle back in how do we address negative comments or e-mails. Well, first, let me just say you’ve got to have thick skin if you are going to stick with blogging. You are pretty much guaranteed that at some point you will get a pretty hurtful comment. Don’t take it personally. Sometimes that’s pretty easy. Honestly some of the meanest comments can make you laugh the hardest! But some can be a little hard to stomach especially if they attack you on a personal level or someone in your family. You’ve got to be able to just move on and we highly recommend NOT ENGAGING in those types of comments. We just immediately delete those! I know some people think you should leave them in the name of being “real” or “authentic” and although I understand what they are saying, I truly believe for us personally the best approach it just to delete those ones. If you don’t delete it, then usually other people respond to them in your defense and then the next thing you know you have an entire thread of people fighting back and forth. There is enough negativity in the world, especially on the internet so I’d much rather keep our space more positive and happy and a place people can come to kind of “escape” all of that. Early on we just deleted the really awful comments but over time we started deleting even the ones that were more along the lines rude. We did this for a reason. One thing that we found by deleting the mean ones was that we started getting fewer and fewer of them. By not engaging them I think that readers who get enjoyment out of that just moved on to another blog or platform until they found someone who would go back and forth with them. So, although we understand why a lot of people choose not delete them, we have never regretted deleting them and highly recommend it. If you feel more comfortable leaving them, then of course you should, but I would then recommend not engaging them. Also when we suggest moving on we really do mean just move on. Whining about it or constantly talking about the mean comments usually just adds to the drama. Especially if you want your blog to have a professional feel it really is best to leave all of the pettiness and keep it professional.
I would add in the one exception we have to this rule is when someone points out something that they don’t like and you have a reason for it then I do think that sometimes is worth leaving and responding with an explanation of why you do that. Like maybe someone pointing out something being off centered but maybe it has to do with an outlet placement or you’ve got weird spacing with a piece of furniture but it’s because your dog likes to snuggle up behind it at night. I think those kinds of comments and answers can be really interesting and add insight. And the last little tip I would add as far as responding to comments would be DO NOT RESPOND if you are overtired. Haha! I say this with some humor because I can say that the handful of times over the years that I have responded in a snarky way it has usually been when I have been overtired and I have just about always regretted it the next day, even if technically my answer was correct or justified, it still is always better to remain kind!
As far as e-mails go that’s a little bit trickier. Although we have gotten our share of negative comments over the years, I can honestly say we’ve gotten very few e-mails. The handful that we have gotten if they were just straight up mean with no actual question or constructive criticism then we just ignored them. We have one or two though that were more on the judgmental side and those we did take the time to respond to because I think those were probably written from a place of concern and maybe just written a little more harshly than intended so we tried to thoughtfully respond with the reason behind whatever the topic was. I think it’s probably been at least five years since we’ve gotten one of those though so my memory is pretty fuzzy -ha! I would say the rudeness is usually limited to blog comments or Facebook comments and then the occasional Instagram comment. Although as mentioned above, they don’t happen nearly as often as they used to.
Is it okay to share other people’s work? And if so what is the proper way to go about it?
Yes, definitely but there are some very important guidelines to follow. They are a little bit different on blogs than Instagram so I will address the blogging side of it now and then when we do the post covering the social media side of it will delve a little more into it. As far as posting on your blog though, the first thing you need to do is to get permission! If you are taking someone else’s photo and using it on your website then you need to get their approval. Sometimes it’s easy and doesn’t even require an e-mail – some blogs state on their page that you are free to use any of their photos as long as proper credit is given. Other people though request written permission. If you are unsure – GET PERMISSION! Next, make sure to properly credit the source and provide A LINK! PINTEREST IS NOT A SOURCE. If you found the image on Pinterest then trace it back until you find the original source and then after getting permission make sure you properly credit them and provide a link to the original source. I know that a lot of people don’t follow these rules but keep in mind that most importantly, it isn’t ethical to take use someone else’s work without acknowledging them. And secondly, I know that it seems like everyone does it and no one gets ever seems to care or get in trouble for it but there actually have been people who have been sued for this and although it is rare you don’t want to find yourself in that position. This is an older article on this but I think is a great example: https://roniloren.com/blog/2012/7/20/bloggers-beware-you-can-get-sued-for-using-pics-on-your-blog.html and here is another one: http://www.livingfornaptime.com/starting-a-blog/blogging-mistakes-to-avoid/ And just a simple google search and you can find a lot more!
Does everything I share have to be original or can I share projects inspired by other people?
This question is a very interesting one. First, I would recommend sharing as much completely original content as you possibly can! The reality of it is there are so many bloggers and creative people out there that the odds of doing a project that has never been done before is unlikely. Now, if you are doing something that you haven’t seen anywhere else or that you learned from your grandma then of course you don’t need to worry about linking to anyone else. And that probably will be the case with the vast majority of your posts. However, if your project, room or whatever it is you are sharing was directly inspired by another blogger then you definitely should acknowledge it! If you used another bloggers tutorial, or directly copied one of their ideas then you ABSOLUTELY need to make sure to mention it and link to them! Of course, bloggers create tutorials specifically so that people can copy them! And I know I LOVE seeing when a reader shares a picture of something they have done in their home that was inspired by something we have done or uses a tutorial we have shared! And I know pretty much all bloggers feel that way. I think one of the things I love most about the blogging community is the way people so freely share their ideas. I love seeing how they approached a project and the things they learned that worked and what didn’t! I love how easy it is to google and find so many different step-by-step tutorials from so many different bloggers sharing so many different techniques that help give me the confidence to try things that I never thought I would! But if you copy another blogger directly and don’t acknowledge them, that is basically plagerism so make sure you give proper credit!
What about privacy? How much info should you share on your blog?
With this I think there is pretty much only one hard and fast rule – and that is to make sure you protect your children’s privacy and I will address that a bit more in a minute. Other than that, I think this is probably the most vague area of blogging and something that there really is no wrong or right way to approach it. It is a very personal decision and one that really is up to you, and anyone else in your family that it may effect, on how much you are comfortable sharing. Some bloggers have grown and made a huge living off of sharing all the details of their lives from their health, their finances, their faith, their family, their pregnancies, their diets, their exercise programs, their thoughts, their fears, their insecurities and just about everything you can imagine! Other’s share very little personal information and stick with a very professional side and have grown that way as well. There are bloggers we could sit here and list on both ends of that who have been extremely successful. So as far as “success” goes in making blogging a profession you certainly can go either way with it. I think there is kind of a fascination with bloggers who are really personal because it’s almost like an online reality show. For me though, that is actually a huge drawback! And I would think one thing to keep in mind if you are oversharing is that just because your numbers may go up, your reader’s respect may go down. You don’t want to “sell your soul” so to speak just for the sake of growing your blog or instagram account. Although I certainly understand why some people are comfortable with sharing so much, I’ve grown more and more uncomfortable with it over the years. So, I would answer that over the years of blogging I have moved far more towards the side of keeping my personal life private and have not regretted it one bit! I also think that in different seasons of life you may feel more comfortable sharing than in other seasons and that is okay too!
That being said, that’s just my opinion on what is best for me and my family and I don’t by any means think that just because that is what is right for me, means that is what everyone else should do too. There certainly are benefits to sharing so many different things from health issues to general life and business struggles that can be such a great source of information for others going through similar situations and sharing things you have been through and survived can be such an encouragement and things you have learned after going through different experiences can be such a help to others so I certainly think there can be great value in that! I would just make sure you weigh all of the different aspects of it, before you share anything personal and make sure you and those around you are completely comfortable putting that information out there! I know there have been several times that I have considered sharing a few different things that might be helpful for others going through similar circumstances but ultimately I have held off. It doesn’t mean that I won’t ever share those stories, but I just know that I don’t want to share them unless I am 100% positive that I won’t regret it.
Now what about kids? Although I firmly believe when you are sharing your own personal stuff that’s really just up to you what you want to put out there, I have a much stronger opinion about sharing your kids on your blog. I generally shy away from any sort of topics that are opinionated or controversial so this is going a bit out of my comfort zone but I feel so strongly about it I wanted to add it into this post. So first let me say this is one of those things where no matter what you do you will probably have people judging you. If you don’t share your kids or acknowledge them at all you can get accused of being a “bad mom” who only cares about how your blog looks and “you probably aren’t even involved in your kids lives at all!” and if you share lots of pictures and details about your kids then you can be accused of exploiting them. So, what should you do? Well, first let me say I think that of course it is okay to share pictures here and there of your kids and acknowledge them! I also think if you choose not to share or acknowledge them at all you won’t regret that either and it is pretty easy to ignore anyone that suggests you must not be a good mom if you don’t share that part of your life. A random person on the internet has no idea what kind of mom you are!
Now if you are going to share little bit of your family life I think it is really really important to remember that your kids are people not props. Now I don’t mean that you shouldn’t share an adorable shot of your kid in a styled setting. Of course you can if that is something you and your family are comfortable with! What I do mean by that is to carefully weigh any photos and information you share about them and make sure you keep in mind that they are little people who are going to grow up and are going to have this online footprint for anyone to be able to see. So with that in mind ask yourself if what you are about to post is something that they are going to be embarrassed by or uncomfortable with as they grow older? If you think there is even a small chance of that, then don’t post it! You also don’t want them feeling used or that you you were doing activities and taking pictures just for the sake of a blog post or clickbait.
The above paragraph is the only thing I feel like is of the utmost importance! That being said I do think there are other things to consider. When my girls were younger I shared a lot of photos of them on my blog but was always very careful not to share any stories or things I felt that they might resent me for later such as potty training stories or meltdown stories or anything that felt like I was giving away too much personal or embarrassing insight into their lives. When I started blogging almost nine years ago the internet felt like a much smaller and safer place and honestly I didn’t worry or think to much about sharing all those photos of them. However, as our blog audience grew and my girls got older I started making a very conscious decision to share fewer and fewer photos of them until now I usually just share one yearly Christmas card photo and then once in a while a shot where you can see them but not really any close-ups of their face and then some old photos on Instagram for #tbt. I really didn’t like the idea that they were being recognized from photos and I also really didn’t like the idea that once I had posted those pictures of them I didn’t have any control over them or where they could end up. I won’t go into any more detail on that here but I do think that is a very real concern and something to consider if you are sharing photos of your kids. With those two factors in mind we made the very intentional decision to making a pretty drastic shift in sharing fewer and fewer photos of them on the blog and I have been really happy with that decision. I know I won’t ever regret respecting their privacy and protecting them. Like I said though, that is what I feel most comfortable with for our family but I don’t think that means you can’t share pictures or stories of your kids! I would just make sure you carefully consider each photo and story and make sure it’s not anything you think you or they might regret because once it’s online it’s permanent. And one tip that can be helpful especially if your kids are younger and around all day while you are taking photos for your blog and you do want to include them is to try to avoid full-on shots of their faces. This can really help protect their privacy and is something I would recommend. This is definitely something I wasn’t aware of early on and something we have learned along the way so although it is just my personal opinion on this matter it is something I want to share as it’s something I would do differently if I were starting a blog now. For instance I would still share all of the photos of them where they are feeding horses or playing in the field but I would share far fewer photos of their actual faces if I could go back in time.
Just how involved is blogging?
In my opinion blogging certainly does not qualify as a hard job, but that being said it is incredibly time-consuming. I think that is the single thing that is most underestimated when it comes to blogging. First, let me say overall as a job is has a ton of benefits. Being able to stay home with my girls while still bringing in an income has been absolutely the single best thing about it for me. I also love being able to make my own hours (which for me usually means lots of working into the week hours of the morning so I can be there with my girls when they are home). It’s also nice being your own boss and having control over what you are doing.
The drawbacks though are similar to probably just about any self-employed job. The biggest drawback is that you really never have any time “off”. Pretty much all day every day you can be working. It’s not the actual blogging that is overwhelming – that part is actually pretty easy to block off specific hours for and stay on track. The part that can quickly become very overwhelming is keeping up with e-mails, DM’s, comments and just social media in general and finding a balance can be really difficult. So I would say that thinking that blogging is a really “easy” way to make money is most definitely not true. You have to put a LOT hours in before you start making money and then you have to continue that. I’ve been working at this for nine years now and although I have found ways to better balance some of it, it is still a 7 days a week job 356 days a year I am definitely pondering taking a step back from it at some point. I am dying to just sit down at night once the girls are in bed and read a book instead of opening up my computer to spend hours responding to e-mails, DM’s, editing photos, and writing blog posts. Even if you work to find a balance as a mom, the work itself just piles up and if you don’t keep up with it it can quickly become overwhelming. So, I think that the time commitment is definitely something you need to be aware of. If you are doing it more as a hobby or a supplemental income then I think you could probably balance it much better and take more breaks away. But if you are looking to blog as a full-time job then keep in mind that it really is going to require your full attention.
And now onto some general questions:
Hi Jenni-
My question is about keeping children’s items. I was wondering how you decide what to keep of your children’s clothing, toys and art work. I know that your daughters are younger and you haven’t yet seen the total barrage of things, but you definitely will. As my children enter their teens, I find myself with an attic of boutique clothing, every. single. piece. of school work/art work and lots of other “memories.” It’s all contained, organized and sitting in a spacious attic. I have come to the realization, however, that I really don’t need everything t hat I have to honor their childhood. Any recommendations on what to keep and how to store it? Thanks so much! I LOVE your blog!!
Debbie
Hello Debbie! First, thank you so much! Second, I am afraid I am probably not the best person to ask about this seeing how just yesterday I was accused of being a very unsentimental person – haha! In all seriousness though, I am not super sentimental or attached to “things” although several of my family members are very much so, so it’s something I am trying to balance. For me, I LOVE having photo albums. I use chatbooks to print all of my personal instagram pictures and stories so every few weeks one arrives in the mail and my girls and I LOVE looking through them and I also do a Blurb book with “real camera shots”. I actually am planning on doing a post updating how we do those soon. Other than photos though I am not all that attached to anything. I have a box for each of my daughters containing items from their nurseries and a couple of baby outfits and a large plastic bin for each of them full of all of their favorite preschool projects. Now that they are both in elementary school I just save a handful of their favorite projects and book reports and stories that they write and keep a small bin for each of them for those items and so ultimately my goal with that is once they are grown to combine it into one bin of their favorite school projects. I would say this year they each had about 5-10 items we saved. They also each have a spot (Lola has a drawer and Lillie has a box in her closet) where I save all of their journals (they both really love to write). I take photos of most of their favorite art projects now and try to upload those into our chatbooks that print that way we always have an image and the memory but don’t have to hold onto every piece of artwork (especially all of the 3D type ones). Eventually I would like to make a chatbook for each of them that is just photos of their artwork.
For clothing I actually haven’t saved anything beyond a few of my favorite baby items for each of them. We have a bunch of younger nieces and younger friends in our community that we have passed pretty much all their clothes down to and then donate the rest. I figure I’d rather they get worn and loved than be up in our attic getting dust on them, but that is definitely the practical and very non-sentimental part of me that may not be one of my better character traits – ha! I would say the biggest challenge in our house right now is stuffed animals – my girls LOVE them and both have quite a collection. We did donate two large bags this past weekend but they still have more than I know what to do with – ha!
Jenni,
Do you actually live in your house? Does it always looks as tidy as it does in pictures?
Anonymous
Haha! This is probably one of our most asked questions! Yes, we do and yes we have kid and now we have a dog too! The second part of the question is a little bit trickier. I feel like it’s better to answer with “No, of course not! Our house is usually a mess and we just tidy it up for pictures!” I feel like that is definitely the answer that is more expected and accepted but if I am being honest, our house usually is quite tidy. At least all of the main spaces are, anyway. Now it isn’t always “clean”. There’s definitely dog hair on the wood floor and fingerprints on windows and things like that but honestly everything usually is in it’s place. I am one of those people who can count on one hand how many times I have left my house with my bed unmade (even as a kid) and who does the dishes WHILE I am cooking or baking and fluffs the pillows every time I get off the couch. Ha! Now I do NOT say that with even an ounce of pride. Honestly, I wish I wasn’t that way and it’s gotten worse as I have gotten older so it’s actually something I am working on trying to be better about. I’ve actually relaxed quite a bit with the girls’ rooms and the playroom as they’ve gotten older but other than that I haven’t made much progress in that department. So except for the fact that I don’t usually have fresh flowers in every room most of our house looks like it does in the photos on a day to day basis. Ironically, this does not carry over to my car – haha!
Jenni,
I have always loved the fact that you give such detailed information on you blog regarding paint colors, materials and where to purchase items. Now, I do have one particular question that might be a little touchy for bloggers regarding sponsored posts.
I realize sponsored posts and advertising are necessary for every blogger. I see many well known bloggers doing sponsored posts on products they have received by a company in exchange for doing a post. They will always state that their opinions and reviews of the product are theirs. Now, I don’t believe any blogger will do a sponsored post for a product they don’t believe in or love but from time to time a product wont live up to expectations.
However, I have NEVER seen a blogger do a follow-up review on a product that has not lived up to expectations or where there has been a problem. This always has me asking the question what a blogger can contractually write without fear of being sued by a company or being blacklisted by other companies. I have asked other bloggers that same question and never got a clear answer. I think that’s why some readers are somewhat skeptical on getting a truly unbiased opinion on a product for the long term.
This is a great question! Although I know this isn’t what you asked, let me first say that we definitely do NOT write any posts unless we truly are happy with and love the product. I addressed above a little bit of how we go about choosing our sponsors so doing our research helps prevent a lot of the problems. That being said we definitely have run into a few and in those situations don’t post at all. In answer to your question though, in regards to what happens after a sponsored post goes up, we have never signed any contracts that prevent us from giving an honest review or from saying anything negative so as far as contractual agreements go, although I can’t speak for any other bloggers, I know that we haven’t ever signed a contract that would prevent us from writing any kind of negative review and I haven’t ever heard any of my blogging friends mention that before either. As far as being blacklisted goes that’s definitely a bit more of an interesting question. I can say that we haven’t ever had that fear and when we have had a disappointing experience we just never share that.
I can see what you are saying being a huge concern and probably has been something bloggers do worry about. I’ve actually racked my brain since reading your question weeks ago to see if I could think of a single product that we had used and loved that over time did not hold up or left us disappointed and I honestly can’t think of one that I had any strong feelings of disappointment on. Our table in our kitchen is a hair wobbly but I’m pretty sure it’s because I didn’t fully tighten the bolts and it hasn’t been a problem. We’ve had one zipper break on our Beddy’s bedding but we’ve used 10-15 of them in our homes, my sister’s house and clients’ homes and that’s the only zipper that has had an issue and it snagged on something and the customer service was awesome in replacing it, and we’ve purchased several since for clients and will continue to – we LOVE them! We did do a detailed blog post years ago about all of our IKEA pieces and how those held up over time (although those weren’t sponsored items so that doesn’t really answer your question). I do think doing kind of a review post of items the items in each of our rooms would actually be a great idea. I can’t think of anything that I have been truly disappointed in but there are items that I have purchased that were “fine” but maybe I wouldn’t necessarily purchase again. So, I’m afraid that doesn’t really help much in answering your question overall but it’s the best I can do based on our experience.
Hi Jenni!
I have followed your blog for years and it still stands as my favorite decorating blog. I love to decorate too but it takes me forever to complete a project. For instance, I’ve been working on cleaning out my closet for a week now. I haven’t worked in there every day because there are so many “life” interruptions. You amaze me with all of the projects you accomplish and yet you stay so organized. Is your house always so put together and organized because you work on it everyday?
First, thank you so much! So, I would say it definitely helps that this is my “job” so therefore that allows me to really focus on it. Also I do pretty much work on it just about every day. When I am working on a bigger project I usually work like crazy until it is finished. Like if I am painting a room, I often paint until 3am just to get it finished. I’ve never been good at working on a project in increments but that’s really just a product of being impatient and something I have been working on since I was a kid. As far as overall organization goes I do try to work on keeping the little things organized throughout the day. I make my bed as soon as I climb out of it every morning, I pretty much fluff the pillows every time I got off the couch (which I am pretty sure is a very annoying character trait), as soon as homework is done we put everything away and hang the backpacks back up, I usually do as many dishes as I can while making dinner and then do the actual dinner dishes as soon as we finish eating and before I sit down to work every night I make sure the downstairs is tidied up and ready for the next day, that way when I am tired and ready for bed I just put my computer away and turn the lights off. As far as larger organization projects go every few months I usually clean out things like pantries and closets. The girls’ rooms get by far the messiest. I have tried to be a lot more relaxed about that. Usually on the weekend I have them get it tidy and then every couple of months we do a thorough cleaning and go through their closets and drawers and clean those out which helps keep them from getting completely out of control. Lola actually asks every time I tell her to clean her room “Can it be my version of clean or does it need to be ‘JenPen clean’?” Haha! In our last houses our garage and attic were the two spaces that were usually a mess but we’ve done a much better job in this house of keeping those spaces more organized.
I love the Dear Lillie Studio blog + double-tapping every single Instagram post! Your spaces have such great style that matches my own (but not nearly as well put together). My trail of questions are: how do you decide on a style for your home, keep it consistent but exciting from room to room, and also, how do you evolve it as styles change without breaking the bank each season?
Thank you! Well, so far the overall style of our home has been dictated by the homes we have lived in which have for the most part been pretty traditional. I actually like quite a few different styles so letting the overall style of the house help guide our choices helps keep me from going in too many different directions. So ultimately our homes have sort of fallen into the “traditional with a twist” category. As far as keeping it consistent from room to room I try to have a few things that flow from room to help them flow together. For instance all of the doors are painted black and that helps keep things consistent. I also try to use a similar color scheme in the main spaces so they flow together but and just mix up the balance of the colors along with patterns and texture to help make each space feel interesting. As far as evolving without breaking the bank I think one of the keys with that is to keep your larger pieces relatively safe and neutral. Then you can change out more medium elements as your style changes and evolves, like maybe switching up artwork, coffee tables, draperies, lamps and rugs and then the smaller items like pillow, throw, lamps and accessories can be switched seasonally. For instance we often go with a lighter look in the spring and summer and then a darker, cozier look in the winter and fall by just switching out some pillows and throws.
I’ve followed your blog for years (and purchased many items from your site). Your style seems to have evolved over the years, why do you think that is? I’ve tried to re-create SO many of your looks. You’ll always be my favorite.
– Brittany
Thank you! That’s so kind of you to say. And that’s an interesting question – I think it’s probably due to three reasons. First is probably just kind of that natural evolution as I’ve grown older and played around with a bunch of different looks and been able to slowly pinpoint what I love and am more drawn to. Second, early on my style was definitely more dictated by pieces that were hand-me-downs or what I could build, sew, paint, etc and in some ways that was really great because it forced me to be more creative, but that being said I don’t think it always reflective what I was most drawn to. As I’ve gotten older we’ve been able to mix in some pieces that are more true to what I like style-wise. Third – The houses we’ve lived in have somewhat dictated my style too. We actually have never lived in a house that style-wise is what I would choose if I was starting from scratch. Our last two homes have been very traditional so I have tried to keep that in mind as I’ve decorated them by having a somewhat traditional base yet adding in some more modern touches. I think if we ever started from scratch the overall look of what I’d do would probably be a hint cleaner and more masculine although it definitely would have some traditional elements too.
Well that’s it for today’s post. Pretty sure this is my longest post by a mile! Haha! I hope you all have a fabulous weekend! It probably won’t be for a few weeks but I do plan on writing the follow-up post to this on the questions we get asked most about growing an audience on Instagram and social media in general.
Warmly, Jenni
